A little too close to home...

So today it's been reported that an Army soldier from Rockville has died in Afghanistan. Lieutenant Colonel James J. Walton. Whenever I hear of a service member dying it just rips my heart out. This one however, is just too close to home. LTC Walton was a West Point graduate, assigned to a MiTT team in Afghanistan, and from Rockville, MD. All of these are just like Bubba. I worry so much about Bubba every single day, I just can't take it. I don't know how people go through this. It just absolutely terrifies me that he is going to be harmed. I just don't think I could deal with it if something happens to him. I tell him that I'll be okay so that he doesn't worry about me. I just don't think I will be though. I know that I can raise Connor by myself and raise him well...he will know how amazing his father is. What just kills me though is the thought that Bubba won't be able to see that. I just can't handle knowing that Bubba won't be able to see his son grow up or that he'll miss so many things that he absolutely lives for. Bubba, I truly believe, is the proudest father on the face of this earth. He was born to have children. I just don't know what I will do if the opportunity for him to see his dreams coming true isn't possible. Does everyone worry this much? I don't know. Bubba is probably the smartest person I know. Some things you just can't forsee though...a roadside bomb, and IED. You can't see these things. You can't outsmart them. I just fucking hate sitting here knowing that the fate of his life, my life, and Connor's life is up in the air. There's nothing any one of us can do about it. It's not fucking fair. I hate this so much. Why are there people like this that will kill our husbands and sons and daughters? These people are daddies and mommies. How could someone take away the most important person in the life of a child. Why? This is so not fucking fair. I just want to scream. I can't handle this. Why does this happen?